What's LOVE got to do with it?

I bet this is like the 1,456,237th post with the title stolen from the song made famous by Tina Turner (those legs!!). I wanted to come up with something cooler but I really didn't care too much about the title as much as I do the subject. This whole post is stemming from this idea of "entrapment" of those you love and the idea that in order to show you love someone you need to keep them close to your chest and prevent them from getting "lost" in the wilderness of this cold hard world. Young Darren used to believe that. Friends, family, romantic interests all had this in common for me; "I love you so I will hold you and squeeze you and never let you go" (Elmyra?). So here's what I got:

You love someone (lets not get caught up with what exact position they hold in your life... just that you love them). With love comes a bit of responsibility; I personally believe that love should be unconditional. There are people in my life that have done things that have hurt me deep and to my core to the point of making me question myself and my ability to be a good person. Some of these people are ones that I love truly and deeply, and I forgive them in time after working through in my head how to move forward with them in a positive way. The task of forgiveness can be pretty tough to fathom, but I assure you it is worth it. If you can't forgive then you probably don't love them as much as you thought and DEFINITELY not unconditionally. Another crossroads can come up when someone you love wants to do something with their life that is contrary to what you would suggest or prefer.

Big test here, you have to be willing to let the person you love unconditionally do what they need to do to feel as comfortable as possible being themselves. This is where the "if you love me let me go" thing comes in. This is a really hard concept to grasp especially in the ego motivated social network world of today. We have this common ideal starting to surface in our society that "If I'm not good enough for you then I don't need you so F-OFF!". The problem with this is that we lose sight of our true identity and it becomes the identity that those who "like us" (sounds like a button you click right?) project onto us. The projection of personality characteristics works both ways. Humans are like the mouse in the maze and we respond to positive reinforcement. Where LOVE comes in is when someone tells you they are going to do something that is going to hurt you (maybe a lot) and you take the time to determine why and to gain understanding as to why it may be important to this person and you give your blessing to proceed (ie: UNCONDITIONAL LOVE).

This seems like torture right? Allowing someone you hold so dear to hurt you? I contest that if you truly love someone unconditionally then you must show that love by truly allowing them to be an individual and make decisions that they perceive to be in their best interest. If you love them, the "torture" is worth it I promise. I only wish I learned this at a younger age prior to acting immaturely towards people I cared deeply for. I also really wish my french press hadn't shattered last weekend because making coffee in my Keurig is convenient but doesn't make me feel all "artsy" and "writerish". I guess I'll live right?

Love you guys (or do I?),

-D

Inspired for the 643rd time

Not gonna lie, I've kind of been avoiding publishing my writing recently. Whenever I sit down and write a bunch of personal crap comes out that is less than fun and WAY less than exciting to read. I know all of my "private followers" would probably appreciate a little candid humor and retrospective insight into my life... right?

2012 was crazy for me and meant a lot of change and a lot of realizing who I had grown to be. With this realization I've decided to share with all of you the insight that I have gained a long with my personal opinion on unicorns. Let me preface the following by saying I'm probably NOTHING like you or anyone you know and this may not pertain to you EXACTLY; but I'm fairly certain the general thesis of it all is standard across all personalities and societies. Here we go...

You are going to change. You cannot stop change and whenever I hear someone say (in a negative tone) "he or she has changed!". I think "well no kidding!" Did you really expect someone to live an entire average life expectancy without changing? Remember when you used to HATE mustard but then one day in junior high at a birthday party someone accidentally squirted some in your mouth during a game of co-ed "ookie cookie" and you decided that you LOVED it? Life is like mustard... you never know when it will get squirted in your mouth un-expectedly and completely change your opinion.

With change comes a realization as to what you find important. I find genuineness to be extremely important (I could have said HONESTY but "genuineness" is word too and it is hard to pronounce). Once you realize what is most important to you (now) you want to go and do that or experience that as much as possible. Be careful here because you may just THINK you like something new when really you just wish that you were excited again. Its very easy to over eat when you think you are hungry when all you really want is a tall glass of water. Sure... your neighbor's wife might seem cool, but maybe you just wish YOU lived with someone that wears the same size heels?

I have "changed" a lot this year in that I have accepted what makes me happy and I have decided to focus on that. This focus involves a lot of playing make believe with a two year old and doing extremely immature things.. but it also means treating the people around me like the prizes they are in my life (you know who you are).

A lot of you guys have changed too. We may be FB friends but we may never hang out again. I still like you and I still care, I just can't handle your choice in clothing and frankly you are a loud chewer so please stop sending me vampire requests and put the toilet seat down.

Love you guys

-D